Conversing knotty issues with your boss

If it is a challenging discussion that you have to take part in, you will be at ease talking to any person, but your boss. Work and workplace is all about complexities and sometimes deliberate reluctance to engage in a conversation. However, every so often there will be occasions when you will have to be face to face with your boss and talk about a difficult subject.

What is a difficult subject, or for that matter, what is a difficult conversation? Both convey a situation where both parties are required to stay linked with stakes being high, opinions at variance and feelings running strong. There may be situations when you will have to initiate a difficult conversation. It is possible that your boss is not a good mind reader and if anything that is not going as per your expectations and which can be influenced by your boss, you must find your voice.

There are thousands of causes for stress, and one antidote to stress is self-expression. Raising complex subjects with your boss can be an extremely challenging task, but having done it, you will feel as if a tremendous load has been taken off your chest. If there is something that is bothering you and weighing down on your conscience, you can definitely unburden yourself. The following tips can help:

· Seek time for a meeting: If you have to discuss anything difficult with your boss, you will find it easy to put it off in hopes of finding an appropriate moment for it. Chances are, that appropriate moment will never come. You will be better off if you stop deferring and make the conversation happen. And the best way to do it is by seeking an appointment. Request a time to meet. If you take a prior appointment, it will send a message to your boss that there indeed is something different that will be spoken about; and when you sit face to face, you will get complete responsiveness. It is likely that your boss may ask you to talk right then and there; however, if you do not feel ready or you that he or she is too hurried to be able to respond thoughtfully, you must convey emphatically you were to finish formulating your thoughts and that you would prefer to discuss appropriately later.

· Organise yourself for the tête-à-tête: Whatever be the issue to be discussed, you need to be well-prepared for it. It is important that you be clear on what you want to convey and what you seek to gain from your endeavour. Therefore, you must prepare on the specific aspects of the subject, the existing actualities of the situation from an impartial viewpoint, a rough picture of the envisaged resolution and most importantly the anticipated response to your standpoint. Your preparation will present you as a confident person and you will be able to listen and react in a fitting manner.

· Let the confab be a two way affair: It is essential that you start the discussion with a statement to help remind you and your boss that both of you have a shared goal.  This will facilitate starting the discussion from the same take-off point. This calls for sharing your facts, coming out with your version, seeking views, talking tentatively and encouraging testing. The first three enumerate what you have been doing and the remainder two amplify the way you go about doing it. All these entail performing two prime activities – communicating your ideas logically and listening to what the boss has to say. To achieve this, the discussion has to be a two-way affair.

· Counterbalance your sentiments: If the subject of discussion is upsetting, you need to put your feelings aside before the meeting. You need to be absolutely dispassionate and unprejudiced; and to be able to remain so, you ought to keep your conduct professional and adhere to the facts of the circumstances. Unnecessary venting or being emotional will not stand you to any advantage. Remember that the best approach is one of candour and simplicity. Personalising the subject should be avoided as it is organisational interests that should impel you. Additionally, you must guard against overselling your point; and this necessitates making a point without any ambiguity and wait for a response.

· Be emphatic & self-assured: Since you are aiming at the resolution of an issue, it is necessary that you remain self-assured all through and through. However, you must remember that your bonds with your boss will be reinforced if both you and he gain something. And even if temperatures do soar up during your conversation, you must thank your boss and shake if culturally applicable.

Telling the truth about anything and how you feel about it are both delicate matters. You have to learn to stand up for yourself and manage differences and aberrations in a healthy manner. That calls for determining when it is appropriate or worthwhile to speak up, rather than letting the little things slide.